Evil Plotbunny (hhertzof) wrote,
Evil Plotbunny

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The Time Princess (G, Doctor/Sarah)

Crackfic seemed to be the most popular option, and this is the best I can do at the moment.

Title: The Time Princess (Fred Tales 1/?)
Author: hhertzof
Beta: samfeasor
Rating: G
Spoilers: The Time Warrior, set a few years after Unexpected.
Summary The Doctor tells his daughter a bedtime story.

Crossposted the usual places.

"Once upon a time there was a princess. Except she didn't want to be a princess or wait for a handsome prince to save her. She was perfectly capable of saving herself and she knew it. She wanted to travel to strange new worlds, to discover new life and new civilisations and to boldly go where no woman had gone before."

"Daddy you stole that from Star Trek."

"Hush. Who's telling this story, you or me?"

"You are. "

"Okay, then. Anyway, this princess was very beautiful, but she was also very smart and she studied hard. She ran the school paper at school. Then she went to university and studied to become a journalist."

"You stole that from Press Gang."

"I did not. She was a very good journalist. And sneaky, very sneaky. She heard about a gathering of magicians and went undercover to discover their secrets, pretending to be the famous magician, Lavinia Smith."

"I don't think many people know about her, Daddy."

"The ones who know anything about virology, know her name. Back to the story. She sneaked in and was assigned quarters with a brilliant (and handsome) wizard called..."


"The Doctor. But you were close enough. One of the other magicians vanished and she immediately thought the brilliant (and handsome) wizard was to blame. He made the mistake of leaving the door to his magical cabinet open and she entered when he wasn't looking."

"If he was such a great wizard, why didn't he notice her?"

"Because she had some special abilities of her own. Even though she'd never been trained in magic, she could go unnoticed when she needed to. Where was I?"

"She sneaked into the TARDIS."

"Ah, yes. She didn't know that it had special powers and could travel in time and space. Unlike the wizard, who entered shortly after, searching for the real villain in the distant past. When they arrived he went in search of allies. Good people who could help him in his quest. Instead he found the castle of the villain and his wizard, scarred by years of evil spells whose only interests were war and conquest."

"Go on, Daddy."

"That evil wizard had conceived a dastardly plan. To steal magicians from the future and use their knowledge to enable his own fiendish plan."

"But what happened to Mummy...I mean the princess?"

"She found her way out of the wizard's magical blue box and made friends with the denizens of the next castle over and still believing the wizard to be up to no good, came up with a plan to infiltrate the wizard's castle and bring the wizard to reckoning. But soon after she had found her way into the heart of the castle, she discovered the real source of the evils. A hasty alliance was made with the wizard and they helped each other to escape with much swordplay and derring-doo."

"Like Errol Flynn."

"Exactly. I was quite the swashbuckler in those days. Bit of a dandy, too."

"I know. Mummy has pictures."

"All the better to blackmail me with. Now back to the story. You do have to go to bed sooner or later."


"So they escaped from mortal peril and hastily constructed a plan to storm the castle. The wizard used his special powers to create bombs that would smoke and stink and disorient the inhabitants of the other castle. Mu-the princess created facsimiles of soldiers, so that the villains of the piece would think we had more men to fight for us. This disorientated them enough that the princess and the wizard were able to sneak back into the castle, free the magicians and thwart the villains evil plan."


"After returning the magicians to their own times, the wizard invited the princess to go travelling with him, and after much pleading and persuasive language, she agreed, with the understanding that she was an equal and would be treated as such. And they travelled happily every after saving the universe from things that go ex-ter-min-ate in the night. Now snuggle down and try to go to sleep, Fred. Mummy should be home soon. Have you got your Dalek? Good."

"Night, Daddy."

"Night, Fred."
Tags: crackfic, fred tales, unexpected

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